Many women think there is something wrong with their partner for wanting to stick their prized possession in their rear end. However there are some things to know about anal sex that might sway your opinion.

The Downfalls The ball is in his court..

* One of the reasons anal sex can be appealing, and for the same reason not appealing, is because the ball is in the man's court. The woman can do very little in this position to aid her pleasure. This form of penetration usually takes place from behind, so the woman can feel detached as she can't see him entering her. And unless you are an anal expert and can thrust as he thrusts, anal action is very much for him to control, so her pleasure is in his hands. The very fact that he gets to dominate this position can be one of his main sources of pleasure.

It can hurt..

* There are no ifs or butts about it. Anal sex can hurt when not performed correctly. Some might argue that there is no correct or incorrect way to have sex, however when it comes to having anal sex there is painful and not painful. If the guy is having anal sex purely for his gratification, the likely hood is the sex just isn't going to work. Working with her and fondling her is going to make the anal action work.

It just doesn't stretch..

* The anus is just not designed to stretch like the vagina. It does not stretch with wetness and it is a highly sensitive area. While one of the appealing aspects of anal sex is it is a tighter hole and gives a tighter sensation during sex, the anal action is not going to happen unless you use some form of lubricant, stretching this area unaided will be painful.

Curious?

* Both men and women are curious people. Women are not going to let a man put their penis in this hole if they are not the slightest bit curious as to how it feels. So men, if you think she is letting you put your penis in there because she wants to keep you happy, think again. While this might be a reason, it's not the only reason. She too is curious as to how backdoor action feels. And believe it or not, anal action can be immensely pleasurable when done the right way.

Why is it appealing?

Forbidden is sexy..

* Anal sex can be appealing to men because the anus can be seen as untouched territory, and somewhat forbidden territory makes it all the more appealing. Typical love making is in the vagina, therefore entering the other orifice gives a sense of doing something they shouldn't which puts a naughty aspect on love making.

Pain can add to the pleasure..

* Anal sex gives a different sensation, and this sensation, while it can be pleasurable, can also be slightly painful. Sometimes pleasure means pain and the pain aspect can increase the pleasure as women can also believe they are doing something slightly forbidden.

Sexy position..

* Anal sex is sexy. The main way of having anal sex is with the guy coming from behind (like doggie style) and while this may seem restrictive as it is the primary position for this form of sex, there are many ways you can actually spice up the position. If you are standing, he can hold her hips and caress up and down her body, she can fondle him, he can kiss her back and ears and play with the clitoris. Playing with the clitoris is one of the key elements to enhancing her pleasure. If you are lying down, he can kiss her back and neck. And always play with the clitoris. The fact that you both can't see each other during this sex can add to the sexiness as she is being pleasured without seeing what is happening or looking into his eyes.

How to make it work

Take the foreplay to the butt

* The more you are both aroused, the better the sex and the easier it will be for entry. If she is relaxed and comfortable then so will her butt muscles. Fondle, play, kiss, caress, do everything imaginable. Use fingers first to ease your way there and then work your way up to inserting the penis. Whatever you do, use lubricant. This is essential for making anal sex work. The butt just isn't going to stretch (easily) without some assistance. Use lubricant or scented massage oil as part of the foreplay.

* If your first attempt at anal sex doesn't go swimmingly, don't give up unless you really hate the sensation. For many people it takes a couple of times to get used to the sensation and to find the pleasure.

Written by Suzie Harris, chief contributor to The Lazy Stud where she writes on everything from Rabbit Vibrators and dildos to hand cuffs and massage oils.